Title : Shit They Do not Tell. 12 new things parents should know
link : Shit They Do not Tell. 12 new things parents should know
Shit They Do not Tell. 12 new things parents should know
This article is written by NF Rebel Correspondent Dan
new parent? Thinking about having children? Thinking of not they have children?
Today we will make some hard truths.
I 've only had my third child, because I am a crazy person I love to be a dad a lot, and there are still things that happen every day in the I think 'hey, you never knew that! "Although I have been a parent educator for years, I still get surprised by what little I know .
I have talked with hundreds of expectant mothers and fathers in prenatal classes, giving the general summary on pregnancy, childbirth, parenting, child development and parenting. Today you are getting the real scoop :. things that are not yet covered there
the decision to go to the end of the "pursuit of parenthood" should not be made lightly. We're going to arm yourself with knowledge of the traps, bosses and challenges that lie ahead.
Being prepared is key , so let's fill our inventory with some rarely passed knowledge.
shit do not tell you: Pregnancy
"it's not uncomfortable."
"it's the best time of your life."
"you can 'brilliant'."
wrong, wrong, and wrong.
This is what really Expect When You're waiting:
1. It can be difficult to match get pregnant:
they said throughout high school, if you have unprotected sex undoubtedly become pregnant (and dying) . Sure, it can (and in my public high school, how often) happen, but it may take months, even years, for a young couple to conceive perfectly healthy.
At the age of 30, out of 100 couples trying to conceive naturally, only 20 will conceive within one month and about 85 to conceive within one year.
Many couples spend years doing everything possible to not get pregnant, only to spend years trying to get pregnant. It can be a very difficult time for the couple, who are often suffering in silence.
2. It can be difficult remain pregnant:
Sometimes nature is a complete idiot. You've spent months (or years) trying to get pregnant and finally happens. You're so excited, starts planning the names, telling the family the good news, imagining life ahead, when suddenly ... sorry, back to the beginning of the first mission.
Speaking from experience, it is impossible to describe how devastating this is.
Nobody really talks about it, but miscarriage common , even if you're in those years first baby Makin ''. To reduce your risk, maintaining a healthy lifestyle , weight and diet is the most important thing you can do (there is a great website who can help you with all that ). If you are having recurrent miscarriages, go to see a medical professional.
Only in these first two points (which are very depressing, sorry about that), be aware that your friends may be trying to have children without luck, so please try to avoid the classic " Why have you not had children yet? "question at social gatherings. We know you want any bad for her, but it can make the couple feel a little uncomfortable.
3. Pregnancy is long and messy
Not surprisingly, so a human being into another being human has a huge toll on the body. Things start to move, no work, jets, 'in' things start to become "things out, 'and everything hurts.
Near the end of the first pregnancy of my wife ( get "super pregnant ') he said:" If anyone has seen my Google search history in the last 8 months, you would think I was the most disgusting human ever ".
At the end, most women can not wait for it to finish. Be prepared to be uncomfortable, sick and cranky. Partners, be prepared to support more (and thick skin) than it has ever been before.
4. The process of birth is also long and very dirty
do not expect it to be like the movies . All birth and labor is different, but the whole process can take up more than 24 hours. It can be messy, bloody, and extremely drainage (physically and emotionally) for all involved.
The good news is, a lot of that is quickly forgotten once the baby arrives (which will also be dirty and disgusting). Think of this as hitting your first checkpoint / save point throughout the mission.
He is glad for the breather.
Shit I do not tell you: Newborns
" They're so beautiful."
"The hardest part is over."
"She looks like you."
Wrong, wrong, and I hope not.
5. Newborns and infants are just messy:
As mentioned above, are not the nicest things about the first time they leave . People like to pretend they are, but they definitely are not.
Depending birth, the newborn baby can be ground, having a misshapen head , and will be covered in a sticky substance. All this is very normal and begin to look (almost) human shortly.
But it does not end there. New parents are often surprised by how babies are messy. Babies may be small, but they can poop and vomit as anyone. His stomach gains superpowers in the early months. What can "never" be able to handle before everything just becomes part of the routine.
6. Everyone is an expert, you are a n00b:
Consider yourself warned: In each issue, whether power , sleep , packaging, transportation, playing , whatever ... all others, even those who have no children, is an expert and who do not know shit about your child or children.
Even when trying to educate yourself a little, you will find contradictory evidence for each side of each argument, no matter what topic you are looking at.
My advice (for what it's worth): try some things and figure out what works best for your family. As long as you are not doing your child or yourself any harm, this is usually the best way to go. Not always rely on the 'experts' (this definitely CONTAINS include me). I have worked with many children and mothers high rank specialists that I would not trust my children for a second.
No one knows your child better than you.
7. You can not love your child immediately, and that's totally fine:
Many parents talk a moment and the link with her newborn baby extreme, and yes, this happens for a lot of parents. But to many others, there is a period of "breaking in", which is not so sure what little alien looking cries, and surely you can not expect love, right?
You know is supposed to love, because it is the "right" thing to do as a parent. But deep down you know it does not. Does this make a person ugly? Of course not.
Think of having a newborn as the tutorial level (sidenote: I hate tutorial levels Driver in the PS1 I scarred for life). Everything is new and different, and probably not exhibit the features that will make your new favorite game. It takes time and experience, struggling and groping their way through things for a lot of parents to start enjoying everything - and that's fine
Del Likewise, even as they grow, there will be times when you really do not like their children ( may be really means ) and feel very guilty because of this. This is also good, and believe me, you are definitely not alone.
8. You have to worry much:
Yeah yeah, they think, "obviously worry me."
No, you do not understand. I'm saying there's a boss behind the door you do not know about. Your name? concern . [CUEdel dramatic music .]
The concern is possibly the hardest and less Forgiving battle in the search. Concern got me on my first mission days, and still continues to appear on the road.
"What if he dies?" "What if I die?" "What if my partner dies?" "I do not make enough money and never will." "What if what they have (insert any disease here)?" "What if they Trekkies even though I've raised them in Star Wars?" "Team Valor is clearly superior, but what if they choose Team Mystic when they grow up? "
All important questions, causing concern in any parents mind.
still has not learned to fully kill the beast's concern, but I have become a better handle on it. As many do with time and practice . But in fact it is, you always have to worry, so do everything possible to accept and get used to it.
will think they are dying at least a dozen times in its first year (children get sick all the time ) and even as they grow, they are always concerned about your mind . They become your priority, always.
other shit they do not tell you
"Not really that much of a change. "
"You're still going to do all that before."
"becomes easier with time."
Wrong, wrong, and ... a little bad.
9. Their relationship will change much:
Dietary changes occur naturally with having children. A loss of freedom and loss of time together as a couple are challenges for all parents and can be overwhelming at times.
The two are much more tired, worried and overwhelmed with what has never been before. You realize how much sleep is better than sex, and is no longer priority of each. Children can put a strain on any relationship, no matter how strong it is.
Thus, both putting disagree more (please remember that parenting often more than one right way to do something), and traps will start arising in the unlikely of places (jealous partner will work in which they can 'rest' while you have to stay at home doing a much harder job).
But if you're lucky enough to have someone pick up the rare third driver and make the multiplayer search your battles will be much easier. However, their communication and teamwork will always have to be first class.
10. Having children is entirely optional:
obvious, right? I also believed him, until I started speaking preconception groups for young couples.
You must not have children because "it is what to do" or you are 'getting to that age, "or" our parents want grandchildren. " If that do not want children (I have to say that after the week I've had, totally not a bad choice, by the way), they do not have them.
Of course, those without children may think occasionally 'Wow, I wonder what my life would have been like with the kids?' But I guarantee that all parents also think 'Gee, imagine what my life would have been childless . "
do not feel it is something that must be done to simply" tick off the list. " a lot of work, time, sleepless nights, and money is needed. Okay who have no children and be happy with your life. If you know it's not for you do not be fooled . This search is optional and not devote much of his adult life to one mission will not prevent you level up your life. If it is the right option for you, you can even help.
11. Will change much:
Your sleep habits are forced to change their lifestyle is forced to change its finances are forced to change, and you as a person will change too.
expect to become different. Boring, safe, sensitive, tired, soft and lame ... and what is even worse is, they'll love. You will become form more empathetic (I have a little lump in my throat this week, of all things, the going crazy shop commercial golf !) As it now It has a new outlook on life.
Things that used to be so passionate have a back seat. Jerry Seinfeld said it best when he said: "Once a man has children, for the rest of his life, his attitude is," To hell with the world, I can make my own people . "
To hell with the world of fact, my whole world is under the same roof Sure, I still see myself as a player, punk rocker, good husband, pro golf weekend and outright geek. . but above all, I'm a dad, and will for the rest of my days
12. you will not be as big of a father as you thought you'd be:
Yes, sorry, that means that even the rebels who are actually taking the time to read articles for parents and tips.
all start with big ambitions to be # 1 or "world's greatest father ', but when reality kicks in, a lot of days to settle' father-well is in the world. '
going to screw up, you're going to take a while to get it right, and you're certainly going to be that father in the store one day. I have yet to meet a parent who has it all together, all the time. Even 'experts' we are making it up as we go along.
As bad I just made it sound, it is totally worth it.
Therefore, I have everything I gave my nerd parents-to-be off having children yet? I hope not. We need to be building a better world, nerdier next generation. I do not want the world to become (more) as 'Idiocracy' .
In the scheme of things, the reason that no one tells you this is because shit ... many of them do not really matter.
The smile on the face of your baby when he first recognized. Laughter and sheer joy they receive from rolling on the floor with you. The wonder in her eyes as does stupid magic father . Your name for you is your first word. Creating and setting up a human life. TO it is the shit really matter.
Yes, choosing to take in finding foster instantly increases the difficulty, but in terms of XP and treasure get is so worth it.
You will rise to the challenges you never thought you could beat, you'll fight the heads of teething, feeding, tiredness and the dreaded concern. You'll be constantly changing between hero and villain, and though you may lose some of their loot along the way, you have the best partner to share cursed, and win, the game lifetime.
is dirty, terrible, bloody and really difficult. It is not for everyone, but those who are currently seeking will not be hitting the reset button in the short term.
You have the most important job in the world who is the head of the future level up, leaving a legacy on this planet, and big plans for a better tomorrow are set. If you're ready for the challenge, they rise to it, for them, for you, and for the future of the Rebellion.
Prospective parents, want to know what else?
Noob parents, what other shit not told you about?
parents Leet, what wisdom can bestow upon us?
not parents, making it a taste of hot food like?
Let us know in the comments
- Dan
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