Title : Am I choosing to be fat?
link : Am I choosing to be fat?
Am I choosing to be fat?
Tuesday I received a text message from my sister saying, "You have to listen to this episode Eastern American Life" I downloaded from immediately put on my headphones and began listening. Much of the episode touched the fiber. Among Roxane Gay and Elna Baker, my brain churned!
Now, before plunging into what I think is a sensitive issue, please remember that these opinions are mine. I am far from an expert, but I bring my experience as an obese woman at the table. I hope to hear your thoughts, so, either here in the comments Instagram Facebook , or Twitter .
A podcast theme referred to whether or not overweight people choose to be fat ... that there is an assumption on the part of society that overweight people are weak and choose to be obese. Although I agree that all human beings choose what to consume and how much to consume every day, from my perspective, it's hard to imagine anyone choosing to be fat. I spent most of life, all my adult life trying to be nothing more than fat. My situation has defined me and have spent much time, energy and money to change it. At certain times in my life, loss of diet and weight permeated all areas of my life. My weight was paralyzing, so it's hard for me to understand someone choosing to be shackled by obesity.
I dieted, become an athlete, and pushed me right out of my comfort zone. I lost weight, I've gained weight, and I have repeated this cycle for many, many years. I've dieted, I've dieted not, and I worked with my fair share of experts to get to the bottom of what I think are the deeply ingrained habits, whether biological or habits psychological habits that have prevented me lose enough weight to reach what doctors consider it a healthy weight for my age and height. During the time that I can remember, I have said that the number on my scale defines me as obese ... that my weight is not acceptable and defined as healthy, I would like first to lose enough weight to reach an ideal BMI .
Over 15 years, I found the sports that they accepted me for what I was. I was an obese yet extremely strong. He was not fit, but I was determined and dedicated. Between being a competitive weight lifter and hammer thrower and NCAA Division I, I redefined adjustment. I entered a world where a woman 250 pounds was strong and beautiful. The number on the scale does not she defined as obese. It is defined as a champion, a pioneer in our sport, and a woman admiring. For the first time in my life, I have grown comfortable in my skin, although it was never 100 percent comfortable. I concentrated on my sports and athletics lets me define me, no label doctors had given me.
After he finished my college career, I had to face my new identity. It was no longer a college athlete and almost instantly redefined the number on the scale. At that time, I was morbidly obese. My self-esteem dropped and I realized it was time to face my other identity as an obese woman. For 10 years, I have struggled with my weight and for anyone to think I'm choosing to be fat is simply ridiculous, but here I am, 32 years of age and obesity.
As part of the podcast Elna Baker, made me realize, I will not deny that I'm afraid of losing weight. I've never weighed less than 206 pounds. How would life be like if I weigh 180, 170, 160? Will I be treated differently? Will I be able to keep losing? Will I lose aspects of my happiness? What will replace the food? The grass is not always greener on the other side, and that's what scares me.
I love that there is more of a movement toward accepting yourself for who you are. I'm fat. I had to learn to accept me for what I am compensating the same time I want to be. I had to redefine my goals and be realistic about what could be a drag, what I want to weigh, and the price they would pay to achieve those objectives. I could weigh 160? I'm sure I could, but I can be happier to 190. Heck, I can be happier at 220. My body always seems to go back there.
say I'm choosing to be fat is hard for me to process. What I'm choosing is to eat more than you need each day. What I'm choosing not to follow a diet plan to the extent that allows constant weight loss. What I'm choosing is the intensity of my workouts. What I am choosing to continue working towards success. What I'm choosing is love to me and to work in alleviating the burden of fat is not placed in me at such a young age. I'm not choosing is to be fat. I'm not choosing to be obese. Obesity is the result of my actions and is a heavy, literally, the price to pay for not being able to control how much and over time.
I wish we had a healthier society, not only by reducing obesity rates, but also by treating all human beings with the same respect. He was listening difficult aspects of the podcast and to be reminded of how I was treated like an obese child ... to be reminded of how I looked and perceived as an obese adult. For anyone who assume that because I am obese'm sitting on my ass every night, eat bags of chips and avoiding any form of physical condition, is delusional. Not that anyone has told me to think this of me, but I think our society assumes that obese people are lazy. Blog has shown me that many people are trying to find out. Many people want to change their habits. Many people do not want to be labeled as obese.
We all wish we had the answer, but we just have to go ahead and to determine the steps we must take in order to be healthy and happy. No matter what the scale says.
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